Rihanna speaks out

Rihanna Glamour magRihanna has finally spoken out about her feelings about what went down earlier this year after she was beaten by her ex(?) boyfriend Chris Brown on the morning of the Grammy Awards.

She did an interview with Glamour magazine, which is set to come in their December issue – they dropped a preview of it today (no doubt to beat out ABC).

A few of the snippets:

On the photo of her being leaked.

It was humiliating; that is not a photo you would show to anybody. I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people were making it into a fun topic on the Internet, and it’s my life. I was disappointed, especially when I found out the photo was [supposedly leaked by] two women.

On the chaos immediately afterwards:

It has taught me so much. I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day. It was like, What, there are helicopters circling my house? There are 100 people in my cul-de-sac? What do you mean, I can’t go back home?

On what she wants her message to other young women suffering from domestic violence to be:

Domestic violence is a big secret. No kid goes around and lets people know their parents fight. Teenage girls can’t tell their parents that their boyfriend beat them up. You don’t dare let your neighbor know that you fight. It’s one of the things we [women] will hide, because it’s embarrassing. My story was broadcast all over the world for people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery.

Our take on this?

We’re glad she spoke. We really hope against hope that she is not being pressured to do so just to pub her album. That would be the rankest exploitation.

We know a lot of the ignorant commenters out there would like domestic violence to be a black or white issue, so they can justify their hatred/jealousy of Rihanna.

But the truth is domestic violence is not nearly as straightforward, black and white or by the rules as is portrayed on tv.

It is not simply a matter of an evil, evil man beating the crap out of his woman because he is evil through and through.

It is not always a case where the woman does not fight back and is just helplessly beaten to a pulp. A relationship where domestic violence has intervened is dysfunctional – on both sides. There can be violence from both sides. That does not make it any better when a man uses the advantage of his size to beat up on a woman. To quote Uncle Ben from Spiderman “with great power cames great responsibility” – that refers to physical power as well super-spidey powers. :)

It is the whole thing of the hammer and the fly. If a fly lights on you and is buzzing around you, do you respond by smashing it with a hammer?

Same thing with Chris Brown and Rihanna. It was reported in court that she had slapped him before. Does a slap from a woman equate to or merit being punched, kicked, slammed and bitten by a man who is about 60 to 80 pounds heavier and 4 or 5 inches taller and that much stronger?

And a lot of others will say well why did she wait so long to speak out? In this, I think her comments about the embarassment and humiliation are pretty telling – for surely it is a confusing, humiliating experience to go through – especially in front of the whole world.

A victim of domestic violence (which Rihanna is, no matter what you say) does not automatically snap out of it right away and realise she must leave her abuser. It is dysfunctional and this dysfunctionality often plays out by the woman staying with the man.

A victim of domestic violence does not automatically stop loving the man just because he hit her, kicked her, shot her, stomped on her. The love is still there.

And most importantly, because of all these conflicting feelings and dysfunctionality, it is not always easy for DV victim to speak out right away. It is embarrassing and humiliating to feel these things, to still be in love with someone who hurts you, to fear someone and yet love them.

Frankly, nine months is hardly any time at all. Tina Turner left Ike in 1976 and it took TEN YEARS before she told her story in I, Tina.

So Rihanna can take all the time she wants, IMO.

2 comments for “Rihanna speaks out

  1. November 4, 2009 at 1:22 am

    This is definitely looking like PR for her new album. Everything is coming out around the time her new album is coming out. It is a sensitive subject but unlike Tina Turner, Rihanna was a victim in world where the media has more outlets and is more aggressive than ever. If she wants a career, she has to speak out. As a public figure, she doesn’t have the luxury to wait ten years before speaking out. I just hope she’s getting therapy to help her get through this. And I’m REALLY hoping her relationship with Chris Brown is REALLY over.

  2. November 7, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Yep. PR for the new album, and Im almost sure some of this is the fact that he’s not suffering enuff, or sorry enuff for her.

    What he did was wrong, no doubt, and Im never gonna excuse that. But hes 19 he made a mistake-yes he did- and he’s paying for it. He’s on probation, did the lil community service they asked and is in conseling. what more does she want? lets talk about something else. He went on with his life; has a new album about to drop.

    I wouldnt find it odd that she waited so long if she was in some time of recovery mode. No- she was everywhere at once for awhile, seen with 2-3 guys in one week. Ass out clothes cut to here…I would say she was well on to gettin on with her life lookin at that. so this act with the prim and proper outfit and hairdo, and voice crackin at the right times is hard to take…

    i’m just sayin’…

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